I was reading some of my past posts and I realized that each post is either “I hate my life” or “I love my life” I haven’t really told anyone this (some peeps I’ve told thought I was joking) but I have bipolar disorder so sometimes it seems like I’m two different people. There are different types of the disorder. I experience a maniac episode and a depressive episode about five times a week. Its called rapid cycling bipolar disorder. Most people only have four episodes a year. And the disorder usually develops in the late teens/early twenties. Mine started late childhood /early teens. People usually get bipolar disorder through genetics. Technically symptoms don’t start to show until something triggers it so someone who has a brain ready for bipolar disorder may never actually have the disorder. I’ve always had the chance to get the disorder but when my dad died things took a turn on me. I was the oldest so I had to take some responsibility but I was only five. Stress is a factor so maybe I had so much stress. My emotions weren’t so bad, it seemed like regular child moodswings but bipolar disorder gets worse overtime. It was mild about five years ago but now… I think this disorder is going to ruin my life someday. I don’t have anyone in particular to talk to because I hate burdening people and also because I feel like I’m trying to get attention. That’s why I made this blog. Then I’m not making anyone hear to my thoughts. They can choose whether or not they want to listen.